in 5!....4!....3!.... ___.....____.....
Nah i was just lurking.
I spent a long time out that day, august 6th. I walked around and around that dome/park for a few hours, and i got to feeling pretty lonely. It's odd, i rarely feel lonely here (one of the few times was mentioned a couple blogs ago i believe), but i definately spend a lot of time with my own thoughts here. No matter how much time i spend around other people. The nature of the day, also, added to these feelings.
It was a sad day, but a really beautiful one-- and those two overtones really make you wish for some company.
I have noticed this want i have lately, and it's not as much of a "want" as a "need" -- i have this unquenchable want for anonymity. I will go to a bar, and truly enjoy it, but if i meet the people who work or own it, i just can't bring myself to go back. Like I feel that if i befriend them, then i OWE them my return service, on a fairly regular basis. I don't feel like they expect this from me, but i feel like I owe it.
And i can't stand it, it feels like shackles.
I'm realizing i feel this way not with just bar/restaurant owners, but every person that i meet -- when it comes down to it, i don't see how a relationship is ever possible with that attitude.
I go out, almost every day, because i want to meet people-- but then once they become an acquaintance, i am sort of afraid of running into them again because i will owe them some conversation, and what if i'm not in the mood?
I'm a rock, I'm a mountain, but I think I'm a silly one.
The moral of the story is that I'm getting pretty sweet on Yukie, although I can think of about a thousand reasons not to be.
I put up a lot of photos, of the 6th and the day there-after when i went to takehara with jess. It was an adorable little town, I could just eat it up i'm freakin serious. Or drink it up, there was a sake factory there after all.
p.s. i owe everyone an apology. Either you can't read japanese, so my japanese posts are stupid. Or you CAN read japanese, in which case they are a whole hell of a lot stupider. That is, to say, if you can make heads or tails of what i'm trying to say. Either way just let me have my practice~